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Blood Axe Warboss Yark in his operatic debut:
I know...
'Ow ter shoot yer, where ter 'akk yer, all yer useless weedy gitz,
An' 'ow ter loot an' how ter roar an' giv da humiez skreaming fitz.
Dey all try but no wun kan defeat me at da gretchin toss,
I iz da very model uv da modern orky warboss.
Squigz iz tasty, I eat lotz ter build me impressiv bulk,
I need a krane just ter get aboard me mighty space 'ulk.
Mushroomz iz quite tasty too, but I neva eat moss,
Fer I'm da very model uv da modern orky warboss.
I'z got a worky brain, I know kunnin' planz an' stratergy,
Ol' Yarrikk iz quite a bloke, 'e really haz inspired me.
I 'ave lotz uv medalz an' me bootz have such a shiny gloss,
I'm thought uv az da well-dressed modern orky warboss.
Der iz no doubt I'm rich becoz I've got so many shiny teef,
A glance at me tremendouz 'orde will make yer gasp in disbelief.
But don't try ter steal from me fer I iz skary when I'm kross,
'Kause I'm da very model uv da modern orky warboss.
Da panziez an' da beakiez 'ear me name an' quake wiv fear,
Becoz I raid dem, boot dem, krush dem, an' drink all da beer.
In all me fightz, I alwayz win, I've neva eva 'ad a loss,
I iz da very model uv da modern orky warboss.
So don't yer mess wiv me or I will giv yer a taste uv me boot,
Run yer ova wiv me tankz, then bakk up an' take all yer loot.
Den I'll finish yer wiv me breath, coz I neva eva floss,
I iz da very model uv da modern orky warboss.
End.
With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan,
and thanks to David McCreary's Orky Text Machine.
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