BROK'D 'ULK

     "Lucky We!" exclaimed Bigeye, looking through a telescope which he refers to as "Da Seein' ting. "
     "Wot's Dat?" Questioned Skarzog.
     "Dis ulk 'ere," continued Bigeye, "It good."
     "Me see."
     "Yus," said Bigeye.
     "No, ME SEE!" exclaimed Skarzog angrily.
     "Yus Boss," replied Bigeye and he got out of his seat. Skarzog looked into the eyepiece and was startled at the closeness of the 'Ulk. He looked it over. It was long, sleek, and had three tall sails along the top of it.
     "Dis no kinda 'ulk me's evva seen," said Skarzog.
     "Me neever," said Bigeye, "Me calls in der boyz." He pressed a square button. A light would have turned on to indicate that "der boyz" had been called, but the bulb had been removed shortly after being installed for tasting by a hungry ork.
     "Wot's dat," asked the foremost of the orks walking into the room.
     "Take 'er a look at dis 'ere klunker, Dug," said Skarzog. Dug looked into the eyepiece.
     "Ar," he muttered. "Me's seen one like dis." He studied it further, and adjusted several levers. "It be a Panzee 'ulk, dat's fur sure." Panzees, thought Skarzog. Dem unorky fings. If him and his mob were going to hitch a ride, they were going to have to orkify it somehow. He couldn't just ride into battle lookin' like some blastin' oomie! The thought of these reminded him of the recent battle, and he ran his hand over his shiny new Imperial flamer.

     [Quep Ieil Orq!] cried the Eldar Navigator. [Orq!] Alarms sounded all over the ship. Crewmembers ran back and forth, trying to do ten tasks at once.
     [Tiireas Samieeis!] shouted a voice. It was too late; the ork rocket smashed through the hull. Around the point opened several hatches and orks poured out. Dozens, then hundreds. The Eldar crew had no hope, and were slaughtered.

     "So, where's we 'eaded?" asked Skarzog.
     "Checkin' boss, chekin'," said Bigmek, and he tried to make sense of the holographic control panels. He muttered and tried pressing several things (he seemed to not understand why his hand was passing through the holograms). When nothing happened, he removed a wrench from his belt and gave the gubbins a smashin'. Still nothing. A more competent ork pushed him aside, and fiddled with the controls.
     "Me gots it, boss," said the ork. "We be arrivin' at der Oomie planet uv Promee... uh... Promefeeus For in... Er, yer better take a look at dis, boss. Me finks Bigmek zogged up de controls fingy..." Skarzog looked at it and grinned in an orky sort of way.
     "Well den boyz," he said, "Better ter get dere in Five Fousand Years den never, don't yer fink?"
End.

BROK'D 'ULK

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