Herin lie the events that transpired on the 40k list after Midwest decried his desire to recreate the dread-- er, buxom Repanse by basing her form on a daemonette...
Jon Vogel: First, a note to the rest of the List: I do not
have an unnatural infatuation with Rapanse.
Middy: Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. Admit it Jonboy, you take pictures and of
Repanse and copies of nudie magazines and...and...and...I can't even *utter*
what you do with them... [g]
Jon: Ha! My Wolves know that the true Repanse is safely tucked away in the
Fang,
and that your false Repanse is merely the ceation of the Lord of Sorcerors.
The fact that you choose to portray her as a daemonette reveals the
influences of the Lord of Change, especially since deamonettes are his
favored creatures.
Middy: No, they actually fit since both are legendary for their fugliness. I can
see it now...
Daemonette: Oh my sweet master Slannesh, why have you betrayed my bounteous
features that you promised me for that...that...*witch* Repanse?
Slannesh: My child, what issssss wrong?
Daemonette: *Her*, my dear torturer, *her*. She was detestable but
bearable when she still had the hideous shell of a hu-man. But now, now
that you have given her the pincers of a lobster, and the legs of a goat,
how am I, your most wanting vassal, to battle against her supreme ugliness?
I have lost face over this, as I appear as an...an...angelic goddess next to
her wretched appearance....
Slannesh: Yesssss my child, but all is for a purpose...
Meanwhile, back at the Fang...
Wolf Lord Vogel: The hills are alivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve, with the
ssssssssssound of musiiiiiiiiiiiiic!!!
Wolf Priest: Lord Vogel, I came as fast as I could. Why are you-
Vogel: Thy, my good man, thy. Bringeth sweet music unto mine ear with
thy...ahem.......most...curvaceous tongue.
Wolf Priest: **Sweet Russ, not this again** Oh, okay, so, ahem, Lord
Vogel, I fleweth like thine most strongest Pegasus, and pounced upon your
personage's location as once as I heard thy lowful wailing. What ist thine
agony, so that I may run it through with mine sword!
Vogel: Oh, my dear Wolf Priest! You have indeed grown. I remember whence
you were still a young pup-
Wolf Priest: Sir, not now-
Vogel: -and yea, though you suckled long and painfully at mine man-bosom-
Wolf Priest: Sir, not now, the others are watching-
Vogel: -but I still remember tellingth them that thy would one day bringeth
me great pleasures-
Wolf Priest (to others): heh heh, I was young, abandoned, and
needed...um...mentoring...you understand, right?
Vogel: -And yea, now you standeth before me, your rapturous form most
delicate like a lady's that I long to-
Wolf Priest: Speaking of coyotes-
Vogel: -We were?
Wolf Priest: Trust me, mine liege, we were. So why have I foundeth you
wailing into the lone air?
Vogel: Ahh, sweet Pup of mine, I was not wailing, yea, but crying, crying
for sweet ecstatic joy, for Repanse, mine most radiant maiden, is with thy
child!
Wolf Priest: Oh dear Emperor no...
Vogel: yea, mine most tootsome son, 'tis true, 'tis true. Who would have
counted themselves the stars to think that such a strong and hardy pup as
Repanse could bear forth such Edenic fruit!
Wolf Priest: whoa....oh...spinning...dizzy....quit moving...I think I'll
sit down now...
Iron Priest: 'Ho everyone, supper is being served. Thy graciousness, are
you ready to ingest much ale and meat?
Vogel: Yesseth, mine flirt of a mechanic. What ist thine banquet to-nite?
Iron Priest: Heavenly our Russ has shinedeth upon thee, as he has proffered
us a tasty morsel for our most gleeful consumption.
Vogel: Yeth, yeth, whateth of it, my good man? What are we to partaketh
of?
Iron Priest: Bostonius King HiveCrab, my liege. Most damnable thing, my
liege; it was foundeth by an old Wolf Priest, the one who banded your arm
in sweet succour to Repanse-
Vogel: oh yea, he tis be a most luscious servant!
Iron Priest: Yeah, so anyways, the HiveCrab's on the spit. Had a helluva
time cracking off the shell, and boy, you talk about *fugly*! I don't care
what those ecofreak Ultramarines say, not *all* life is sacred...
Vogel: 'tis true, 'tis true, but they *do* possess such carefree, innocent,
childlike, underage-
Iron Priest: ahem sir, getting back to the HiveCrab. Most unusual bit of
all is that we found a young crab within it.
Vogel: Yea, mine Iron Priest?
Iron Priest: Yea, my liege, I do not lyeth to thee. Twas more fugly than
the mother it twas harbored within...
[g]
Jon: But, you shall be properly rewarded for your vile mockery of the vestal
maiden.
Middy: Well what do you *expect* me to do with a bestial maiden?
End.
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