"Twas der noight before Krismas,
Da whole kamp was mellow,
Not a squiggoth was sturrin',
I 'ad a slugga unda my pillow.
Wen up on da roof,
I 'eard somefin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream "Oi! Keep it down!"
Wen wat to my
Zoggin eyes shud appear,
But dat 'airy grot "Grotty"
An' aitgh... err.. eahtgs... err sevun plus wun reindeer.
Wit' a bad horkin' coff,
An' wid the stench o' fungus beer,
I knew in dat moment,
YO, DA WARBOSS KRINGLE WAS ERE!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
An' a yank on dere manes,
He cursed an 'e shouted,
An 'e called em by name.
Oi Grimy, Oi Grungy,
Oi Snotty, Oi Blotto,
Ay Slimy, Ay Squidgy,
Ay Barky, Ay Grotto!
As I drew out me gun,
An' 'id by der bed,
Down kame 'is zoggin boot,
On top a me 'ead.
'Is eyez were all bludshot,
'Is B.O. wuz scarey,
'Is breff was like sewage,
'e 'ad a mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in me eye,
An' he twisted me 'ead,
He soon let me kno,
I wuz better orf ded.
Den pointin' a fat fingur,
Roight unda me noze,
He let out sum gas,
An' up der chimney 'e rose.
He sprang to his trukk,
Bad wurdz all 'a screamin',
An' away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem's a beatin.
But I 'eard him yell out,
Or better yet coff,
Merry Krismas to all, an'
Da' best Orks a Goff!"
End.
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