The Awful Truth

     The Imperial Calendar system originates from the Emperor's Mk3 wristwatch, a birthday gift from Magnus the Red before the Heresy. Regrettably, Magnus was somewhat of a 'pinch-penny' and bought a cheap knock-off instead of an Chapter Approved Imperidex watch ("We give the beatings, it keeps on ticking"). The Emperor was quite displeased, and ordered the Space Wolves to purge Magnus of his spendthrift ways, thus forcing him to join Horus.
     The Emperor never had a chance to get a new watch. The Warmaster's assault on Terra led to widespread looting, ending any chance of the Emperor getting a good watch for his 19,563rd birthday. The resulting malaise almost led to the fall of the Imperium until he remembered that Horus himself always carried a lucky timepiece. The Emperor gathered the remaining forces of the Imperial Fists and Adeptus Custodes and teleported to Horus' battlebarge. By the Mailed Fist of the Imperium, we shall take the traitor's wristwatch!
     What followed is well-chronicled in Inquisition annals. Horus was slain in combat with the Emperor, who in turn was condemned to suffer eternity in the Golden Throne. Worse still, the Emperor was unable to tell Rogal Dorn to switch timepieces with the fallen Horus. Abaddon tore the watch from the wrist of Horus, inadvertently taking the lightning claw along with it. Rogal Dorn carried the Emperor away unaware that the wristwatch his stricken Emperor bore was a cheap imitation.
     For ten millennia, the Imperium has kept its records by this watch, never knowing that it is but a poor copy from a wretched, long-dead, street vendor. Thus is it that all attempts to keep accurate time by the High Lords of Terra are as doomed as their beloved Emperor.
End.

The Awful Truth

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