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Dogtown Div Leadership

Regional Rep
Orion Walker

Division President
Chris Hutchings

Vice President
Pat Sattler

Secretary
Lisa Krupp

Treasurer
Arianna Wertheim

Operations Chair
Carey Melton

Social Chair
Katie Reynolds

Charity Chair
Sara Davenport

Rules/Ump Chair
Steve Ebersole

Promotions Chairs
Shana Levin
Jillian Tate

Website

Got something to say? If you have a comment about something you've read here, or if you'd like to contribute something of your own, please let us know! Have a personal kickball anecdote, a question, or a comment about last week's game? We want to hear from you. You can drop us a line anytime.

Roundtable Picks

By Vincent Muscatelli, Dan "Ride ‘em Cowboy" Cooley, Helmut Krankenhose, and Pickbot 3000 (2.3)

Vincent- Welcome to another round of Roundtable Picks with Vincent "I said donít call me Wop" Muscatelli. Last week our table of experts batted .500 on picks and whatís more last week saw some pretty exciting play on the diamond.

Dan "Ride 'em Cowboy" Cooley is back to give us some more picks.  Gentleman Jim couldnít make it this week so in his place Iíve got Helmut Krankenhose, and rounding things out is Pickbot 3000. My nephew is one of them computer geeks and said that he needed to add some new software to Pickbot so itís now Pickbot 3000 version 2.3.

Game One: Ace of Base @ Westside Whackers

Vincent:I donít think there is a question on this one.  Ace of Base had a bye last week but no amount of rest is going to stop the hurt that Carey Meltonís Whackers want to put on them.  After their narrow loss to the Cheerleaders in week one Melton has to come out kicking, if he knows whatís good for him.  I say Whackers.  WHACKERS

Helmut: Helmut glaubt, das Westside Whackers bis zur Herausforderung des Besiegens des faulen Mannschaft Asses der Unterseite sind. Hat das Spielen nicht fur eine Woche sie Weiche und schwach gebildet. Mannschaft des Herrn Meltons ist mehr als fahig zum Zerstoren der Hoffnungen und der Traume des Asses der Unterseite. Ich wahle WESTSIDE WHACKERS.

Dan: What did this boy just say? Did he pick the whackers? What the hell kind of language is that anyway? Well sheeeooot I like what Vinny had to say about them Whackers. Iím gonna say the Whackers can win this one easy, with one arm tied behind their backs and a bronco bucking beneath ëem.

Pickbot 3000 version 2.3: <virus detected>........<eliminating>.......<processing data>.......FINAL SPREAD: WHACKERS -4.

Game Two: Greenorrhea a.k.a. $&#^% @ Pregnant Cheerleaders

Vincent: I like the Cheerleaders in this one.  Pat Sattler and squad showed me something special last week by shutting down an explosive offense when they had to.  Greenorrhea or $&#^% (the team formerly known as Team 5) are shaky at best.  I know I said they didnít have a name and it made them dangerous but a guy can be wrong.  CHEERLEADERS

Helmut: Die schwangeren Cheerleadern sind eine starke Mannschaft. Sie lassen mein Herz mit Stolz schwimmen. Sie aufzupassen, auffangen zu nehmen ist eine Ehre fur irgendwie Deutschen. Wahrend Greenorrhea nichts mehr als ist, eine Mischung von amatuers, die um Grosse sich bemuhen. Aber sie finden nicht Grosse auf dem kickball aufzufangen, nicht gegen die schwangeren Cheerleadern. Kein finden sie nur Niederlage und Erniedrigung.  CHEERLEADERS

Dan:  Are you kidding me?  Vinny does this guy have a cold or something?  What in tarnation is he talking about?  When you know let me know okay cause that boy ainít right. Grossa?  What the heck?  I think the Cheerleaders can whoop Greenorrhea, hell I licked it with some of Old Doc Brownís tonic. It also cures baldness and whatever else what ails ya.  CHEERLEADERS

Pickbot 3000 version 2.3: <processing>....FINAL SPREAD: PREGNANT CHEERLEADERS -3

Last Week’s Recaps

In case you weren’t able to make the game (Ace of Base, where were YOU???), we asked our team captains to give us little recaps of last week’s games. Below you’ll find comments straight from the horses’ … er, mouth. If you’d like to send us your own version of how a game went down, you can write us here.

Game One: Tang 3, Greenorrhea (formerly Team 5) 1. Dead even on the spread.

Tang captain Christiana Celeste writes:
Tang was not intimidated by the sheer number of players that showed up for Greenerea. I think I counted 20 people in that dugout. The merry Tang players donned brightly colored leg stockings and orange wigs. They wore crowns and tiaras and other orange garments. They only started with 9 people on the field and Greenerea had to sit out 9 people per inning. But it didn't matter for Tang. The amazing pitching of Zubin meant the first kicker was called out due to 4 foul balls. The pitching continued and with good defense, Tang kept Greenerea scoreless for almost the whole game. Thanks to heads up baserunning by Shana and newbie Sinan, Tang took the victory.

Greenorrhea captain Samuel Rivello writes:
The team came out swinging with both legs, but fell flat on their asses in their loss to Tang. Troublesome errors on key plays including a botched play at home by Sam Rivello hurt the team. Captain Sam Rivello and co-captain Anthony Conley mourned the loss. Despite losing the game, the team has started to gel and following the game they finalized their team name as "Greenorrhea." With excitement and optimism the team looks forward to the next game this week.

Game Two: Pregnant Cheerleaders 2, Westside Whackers 0. Cheerleaders KILL the spread.

Cheerleader captain Pat Sattler writes:
Captains Pat Sattler and Carey Melton were both thinking highly of their teams going into the inaugural season of Dogtown kickball. Both men were seen at bars into all hours of the night recruiting ringers with promises of championships and all the diet coke they could drink. Both teams came out with stellar defenses that shut down what should have been two potent offensive attacks. The Cheerleaders struck first in the second inning with a single run scored by Lisa Krupp in a close play at the plate. They would push another run across in the 4th inning on an infield kick by Jillian Tate to secure the victory. This is the first regular season non-forfeit victory by any team in the ever growing Pregnant Cheerleader franchise (all rights reserved).

Whacker captain Carey Melton writes:
The Whackers inaugural game against the Pregnant Cheerleaders demonstrated that experience would triumph over, ummm ... other experience. The Whackers' rookies, led by Jake Schutz and Mike Fratarcangeli, showed that the Whackers would be tough to score against. However, while the Whackers veterans helped guide their plucky rookies, a couple of miscues allowed the Pregos to score two unanswered runs. The Whackers threatened to unload on the Pregos in both the fourth and fifth innings. The Pregnant Cheerleaders held firm and finally rubbed out the Whackers in the fifth inning after some questionable base running by captain Carey Melton ended a Whackers' rally.

Email questions to wakadogtownnews@gmail.com.

Folks, I've found better questions in my litter box than what you've sent me this week. Honestly, I'm here to help, but mostly I'm here to meet my community service requirements so I can get this damn collar off my leg. In the meantime, keep those cards and letters coming in

Something to think about for next week: why aren't women chastised for using the wussy man bunt?

Q. Dear Miss Fluffy Tail,
What would be the best way to retaliate an opponents "catty" behavior?
Sincerely,
Hair (kick) Baller

A. Dear Hairy Balls,
Normally in this situation I would recommend that you piss on their furniture ‚ either in a spot that is sure to get their attention like the middle of their bed or in a shoe... or... somewhere that will go unnoticed, leaving plenty of time for your urine to dry and permeate through the rest of their house. If the situation presents itself I would also spray the inside of their car.
Of course, a tally mark in their "losses" column would also shut them up.
MFT

Q. Dear Miss Fluffy Tail,
Most times after a game, my kick foot is really sore. Do you have any tips on how I should angle my foot to kick the ball? I currently kick with the top part of my right foot.
Help...
Antz

A. Hi Antz,
Have you tried licking your foot?
MFT

Q .Yo Miss Fluffy Tail!
Wazzup home girl? Can you tell me whose idea it was to "charcoal filter" vodka?
Peace out.

A.What up, Playa?
It was Pat Sattler's idea. Using a pair of his mom's hosiery and a bag of Kingsford Lite Briquettes, he turned a bottle of Ralph's brand vodka into Ketel One.
MFT

Q .Dear Miss Fluffy Tail:
How do you feel about the new movie, "Must Love Dogs"? Do you feel that
Hollywood is ignoring the felines of the world?
Amy

A. DEAR AMY,
Thank you for your question. Yes, its the old Hollywood cliché that there are no good parts for felines in the biz thanks to casting couch whores like Lassie, Benji, Rin-Tin-Tin, Old Yeller, et al, who are willing to do what the "man" wants instead of creating the truth! Canines are the "Katie Holmes" of the movie industry...cute and can do a few tricks but ultimately submit to being kept on a leash. All I'm saying is I that I take care of my own sh*t, ho-kay?
MFT

Q .Dear Miss Fluffy Tail,
The WAKA kickballs come to us uninflated and the equipment bag's pump doesn't have any device to measure inflation. Which is better, a little soft or rock solid?
Chris

A. Dear Chris,
Good Question. Too soft and we end up with limpies. Too tight and they bounce right out of your hands and over your head. Boy, is that is that ever embarrassing. I'd go with the middle ground on this one but don't spend too much time squeezing your balls. It’s just a game.
MFT

The Hunt Is Still On For A Division Bar. . .

Well, the early select didn't pan out. Division leadership is still hunting for that perfect division bar. The thing that helps us the most, however, is a uniform front arriving at the bar's doorstep on Thursday night. So until a bar signs on, our standard operating procedure from here on out is to name a place and we'll all meet there after the games on Thursday. This week's unwitting host is Yankee Doodle's on 3rd St Promenade @ Santa Monica Blvd. It's a large place with pool tables and good eats. It'll almost be like already having a drink special in place, too! Their Thursday special is 2 for 1 pints!

So support our division bar efforts and head for Yankee Doodles! There's ample parking in the area in any of the garages for $3 and coffee and shopping is close at hand. T-shirts will be on the field this week, so be sure to put them on before heading into the bar so they know when you pay your tab that that dollar amount will be coming from a WAKA kickballer every Thursday night!

See you there!

Registration for Dogtown Division is open!

That's right! Registration is open and we're waiting for you! Head on over to My WAKA and sign up. If you have never registered with WAKA before, you'll have to create a new user account. If you've played in any division before, just use your old login. Remember, however, you will not be officially registered until you have paid for it. If you create an account and don't pay for it, you'll get emails and have access to some info, but you CANNOT play in regular division games.

So join an existing group to play with people you know and get placed on the same team, or sign up as an individual and get placed on the team that needs people most. You can also create your own group or team! If you're creating your own team, be ready to accept captain responsibilities and to fill out your own team with 15-26 players before registration is up.

FAQ

• What if I don't know the rules?
• Then you can find them here! We encourage everyone to be familiar with the rules. However, if you know the rules for baseball or softball, you're 90% there. The easiest way to learn them is to come by for the practice games when we'll have rules clinics.
• What if I can't make every game?
• Most people can't. It's up to each individual to decide if registering is worth the number of games they will play. Games will always be on Thursday nights at some time between 6:30pm and 9:00pm. Games tend to last 45 minutes and if you're not umpiring a game, you only need to be there to play.
• Who umpires the games?
• Registered players do on a volunteer basis. Each team will provide one umpire to ump a game they are not playing in on any night they play. Each game has a home plate ump and a first base ump. These ump slots will be scheduled and should be staffed by players familiar with the rules and willing to serve on the umpire/rules committee. WAKA and the division have a number of guidelines and rules set in place to make this role have as little stress as possible. Good umps make for good games. If you are interested in umping for your team or umping as a regular volunteer that does not play on a team, contact us.
• What does my registration money get me?
• Your registration money pays for the field, division equipment, trophies, a team t-shirt and a number of social events including a mid-season and end-of-season party. Previous divisions in the area have used the funds for rooftop pool parties at fancy hotels, free pitcher nights at the division bar and seed money for charity fund raisers like kickball trading cards with your image on them! Division board members will reap further benefits by getting free food and drinks at board meetings.
• Why should I serve as a board member?
• Aside from free food and drinks at the meetings? Because it's easy. The more people that help, the less each person needs to do. If you have a specific talent that you aren't sure will help, contact us and ask. We use all sorts of resources in the efficient running of the division.

You can help promote the league!

Now that you're signed up and ready for some kickball, you can help us promote the new division! More teams with more people always makes for a better season. With more players, we can get a better deal through our division bar and we get more funding for parties and other division events.

Download and print this information sheet and post it around coffee shops, workplaces, apartment buildings or any other place with young adults that might be interested. (Be sure to get permission) You can also see if your company is interested in sponsoring a kick ball team of their own! If you have any questions or suggestions about promotions or would be interested in heading up our promotions department for the division, contact us!

Next Game Night: Aug 11th, 2005 @ 7:30pm

Oakwood Recreation Center - Diamond 1

• Map
• Games are played between 7:30pm and 9:30pm

bar location is still TBD

We're still looking for potential division bar locations. Factors to consider are: distance from field, size, not too crowded on game night, quality and variety of foodstuffs, friendliness to WAKA and willingness to offer good specials & discounts. If you have a place in mind, contact us!

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