Standings as of 9/7/05







































Week 7 Schedule ñ 9/08/05


7:30pm: Ace Of Base @ Tang

8:30pm: Greenorrhea @ Whackers

Bye: Pregnant Cheerleaders


Mid-Season Party for Charity



DATE:  Thursday, September 15

Benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation

Join us after your Thursday game for some free food and drink, some crazy singing, and help WAKA Dogtown support a good cause.

How it works: Purchase individual tickets, or a $20 booklet of tickets, at the door.  (Each booklet contains 20 tickets.)  Use your tickets as follows:

       1 ticket lets you sing

       2 tickets to make a teammate, friend, or enemy sing a song of your choosing

       3 tickets to get yourself out of singing a song someone forced on you (chicken!!)

       4 tickets to re-force a song on someone (arenít you mean?!)

       5 tickets to refuse a song for good Ö and 5 to GONG (kick a bad singer off the stage).

With the purchase of a coupon booklet, youíll receive three bonus coupons ñ two song refusals and one GONG ñ thatís a $15 savings!

Join us beginning at 10pm, downstairs at Yankee Doodles. Remember, all proceeds go to charity, so be generous, be evil, and have fun!



OK, it's that time again.  Read the fact pattern below.  Use your imagination.  Picture all the players naked if that helps.  Reenact it with your old Barbie dolls or Cabbage Patch Kids if you must.  If you know what the correct decision is, e-mail Carey Melton at with the subject line "You Make the Decision" (or something like that).  Your answer should be longer than one or two words.  Let us know why you made that particular decision.  Then again, don't send us a treatise on WAKA rules either.  That would suck. 

If you are the first person to e-mail Carey the correct decision, Dogtown Division will buy you a pitcher of beer after the next game.  You don't even have to share the pitcher with anyone else.  Now, with that being said, let's get on with it:

Shirley Halahmy is up to kick.  Tied 2-2 in the fourth, and needing a strong pitching performance to give the Whackers a chance at ending the Preggos win streak, Carey Melton has been erratic all day.  The third base coach, Kevin Meister, gives Halahmy the sign to take a pitch.  As Melton delivers the pitch, Halahmy stands about two or three feet right behind home plate.  Melton sends a heater right down the middle.  Halahmy simply stands there as the ball bounces off of her into fair territory.  Halahmy did not make a kicking motion at the ball.  As Halahmy stands at home motionless, Whackers' shortstop Jake Schutz scoops up the ball and beans Halahmy hard in the knee.  As head umpire, you make the decision!


In addition to our contributions to the Juvenile Diabetes Resarch Foundation, Kim Rehrer of our own Westside Whackers wrote in with a way you can help raise money for hurricane relief.  On September 8, Loyola Marymount University is holding a charity concert on their campus ñ Kimís roommate is one of the principal organizers.  Since we canít go to the concert (we all have games that night), Kim will be collecting money at the field this week if youíd like to contribute to the cause.  Email Kim at for more info. Anyone who wants to join the inter-divisional committee focusing on katrina relief should write .  If youíre not able to contribute at the field, you can always go to or to help those in need on the Gulf Coast.


Should there be a winter season for Dogtown?  Unlike less fortunate cities, Los Angeles weather is kickball-friendly all year.  But shorter days are coming up, and games might be better suited to weekend afternoons rather than the current later start time on weekday evenings.

Are you interested in playing a winter season?  Which do you prefer, a weekday evening game or a new park?  Talk to your team captain to make sure your vote gets counted!



Game 1: Tang (3) @Whackers (1)

From Tang Captain Christiana:

Whackers took the early lead 1-0.  But Tang didn't waste any time.  They scored 3 runs in the 2nd inning, including a home run by Zubin, who took advantage of sloppy D by the Whackers.  Neither team scored again and Tang took the victory.

From the Whackers ìBig Swing,î who wishes to remain anonymous:

Thursday night brought another duel between orange and blue (Even though we know blue is a WAY cooler color) as the Whackers faced an important game against second place Tang.  Pressure was high, but all were in good spirits and ready to have some fun.  The Whackers even tried to include Tang in their warm-ups as they continuously kicked the ball in their direction, giving Tang some fielding practice before the game began. The Whackers scored the first run, but made some errors in the fourth allowing Tang to score three runs. Bases were loaded with two outs and I was up and flied out.  I suck.

At some point in the game Jorge Narino overran first base right through first baseman Michelle Constant.  Insisting that the "hit" was a mild payback for always screwing up Jorge's name, Michelle was walked off the field.  Don't worry, all was forgiven later at the bar when Juan, Jesus, errr, I mean Jorge bought her a "recovery" drink.  Fortunately for him, drinks are two for one.  Way to go Jorge.  Anyway, Michelle made a good play in the last inning too, but the Whackers still lost.

Game 2: AoB (3) @ Preg  (5)

From me, your editor:

Team Captain Pat Sattler is still recovering from his Labor Day weekend, which youíd have thought had been renamed Liquor Day weekend, so Iím filling in on


the recap.  We love playing Ace of Base because they always share their goodies (and they bring food, too!).  This week it seemed to be a ploy to slow the Cheerleaders down, as AoB promptly took a first inning lead.  To the rescue came Pat, tying the score up and poising us for a possible tie game.  But, the Cheerleaders had a winning record to uphold, and for that we can credit PigPen (see the dust flying around him as he runs?).  Is it a double?  No!  Heís still running!  The inside the park homerun made it 4-3, and then I scored for good measure (and I made it to home base, too!).

From AoB Captain Molly:

In the second game against the Pregnant Cheerleaders, Aces were determined to give it their all.  Aces started off fiercely with Grant (Sinead) coming home, proving that nothing compares 2 him.   Shortly after, Ben (Inspector Gadget) go-go got home, too.  Patís Cheerleaders knocked up the bases and scored, making it neck and neck (Go on and close the curtains, cause all we need is candle light).  Bhanu (Keyser Soze)ís killer reputation preceded him and he walked, bringing Jacobo (The Professional) home.  Aces were up and then Molly (La Femme Nikita) was the third out, courtesy of fellow Clevelander, Kevin.  But you know, I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much...

Pregnant Cheerleaders got a home run because they've never had to knock on wood, but they know someone who has.  Later, in diva spirit, Maraya (Mariah Carey) decked former Aces Katie with the ball, even though she was standing on base. How can she help it if she thinks you're funny when you're mad?  By this time, most of the Aces were in a food coma from all of the sweets and couldn't rally another run to tie it up again.  Perhaps part of our strategy should include less cheesecake next gameÖ Cuz next game, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.  



Iíve got some extra space at the bottom of this page, so hereís a picture that always makes me laugh.  Enjoy.




Last weekís letters spurred on a lot more lettersÖ almost all of them from Tang players.  I guess they felt a little attacked and hey, Tang, weíre sorry about that.  We really did just want to get you to come socialize with US after the game, not call you out for being anti-social in general (because youíre not!).  Tang made good on their promises, and showed up at Yankee Doodles in full force last week.  It sure was nice having you guys there. 


I know, I promised you that youíd get your say in the next newsletter, but it turns out such things need to be kept to email, and since our Prez is back, heís covering it now.  You should see an email from him on the subject soon.  Anyway, weíre all friends, right?  Letís kiss and make up, and give the Tang guys (and girls) a break and quit hazing them now, ok? 


So you know, Tang, weíre totally with you on finding someplace different for next season.  So YOU know (everyone else), look for Tang at Yankee Doodles this week ñ theyíre back on board for this season, and enthusiastic about helping our efforts for finding next seasonís division bar.  Yay!


In summary, the message to everyone is: 1) Lesson learned.  2) Please join us at Yankee Doodles, and we PROMISE to find someplace everyone can agree on for next season. 


Roundtable Picks- Week 7

With Vinny Muscatelli, Helmut Krankenhose, G-Spot and Pickbot 3000 (v2.4)

Only four weeks left in the regular season folks.  Last week was the beginning of the rematch phase of the schedule and it seemed to look pretty much the same as the first go around.  This week Helmut got his visa issued worked out and has decided to join us and Giuseppe is back for yet another goíround. So without further adoÖ

Game 1: Ace of Base @ Tang

Vinny: Ace of Base looked strong early on last week against the Cheerleaders.  Tang looked strong against The Westside Whackers.  If Ace of Base can carry over what they learned against the Cheerleaders I can expect them to win this one.  ACE OF BASE

Helmut: As der Unterseite spielte gut gegen die Cheerleadern.  Sie zeigten ihre St”rke des Buchstabens, indem sie, zum des Spiels f¸r die vollen f¸nf Innings zu spielen blieben.  Ich glaube, daþ sie Zapfen besiegen.

ACE OF BASE (we think)

G-spot: Seriously Uncs ya gotta stop grieving me. The name is G-Spot dawg, get it straights or Iílla have ta bus a cap.  And anyways this stuff so stupid, we all know Tangs is gonna wins it.  TANG

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: Processing dataÖÖ. ACE OF BASE -2

Game 2: Greenorrhea @ Westside Whackers

Vinny: Okay, so it seems like Greenorrhea is more legit than ever.  And theyíre playing the team that legitimized them.  So what do I think is going to happen?  Well I think Greenorrhea is going to collapse.  I think Whackers will win this one.  WHACKERS

Helmut: Wie die brennende Empfindung verband mit dem ihrem Namen.  Ich denke, daþ Greenorrhea eine Wahrscheinlichkeit haben, das Whackers herum zu schlagen dieses mal.  Ich denke, daþ sie triumph und das Namensgreenorrhea f¸r immer mit Sieg verbundenIST.


G-Spot: Yo Whackers let me down last time so I ainít even gonna go there. Greenorrhea wit the whack name is gonna slam da whackers.  GREENORRHEA

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: ProcessingÖÖÖÖÖ. Greenorrhea ñ3