Ghost Man On 3rd

 Standings as of 8/23/05






































Week 5 Schedule – 8/25/05


Week 5 – 8/25/05

7:30pm: Tang @ Ace Of Base

8:30pm: Whackers @ Greenorrhea

Bye: Pregnant Cheerleaders




Hey people, we have a division bar.  We know it’s not the most ideal place in the world, but it’s ours.  They’re offering us specials (two for one pints and well drinks, ½ off selected appetizers), and they’re helping us out with our mid-season event … and we need all the help we can get.  In return, we promised we’d show up.  So please show some division spirit and solidarity, and go to up at Yankee Doodles after the Thursday games. 

Located between Broadway and Santa Monica on 3rd Street Promenade.  Park in lots off 2nd or 4th street for $3.




Buying, Selling, or Partying?  Let your Dogtown buddies in on the action.  Want to post something here?  Send an email to


Kickball got your legs sore, arms tired and back aching?  Relief is on the way!  David Silverman is a WAKA Hollywood player and a massage therapist who services four-star hotels & spas.  He is offering WAKA members a $10 discount on any services booked this season.  For more information, visit:


Ask Miss Fluffy Tail


No MFT this week, because you guys suck and didn’t send her any questions.  Thanks a lot – she peed on my sofa and coughed a hairball up in my doorway that I stepped in on the way to the bathroom last night. 


 Mid Season Party / Charity Event


Hey, remember how we told you to save September 8?  Yeah … not so much.  It turns out the NFL is having a pretty big whatever on that night, so we’ve been waylaid a bit.  Now, as much as we’d normally enjoy being way laid, in this case it’s not so good.


Anyway, the new date is tentatively September 15.  It’s not exactly mid-season, but it IS going to be a hell of a party.  If you’ve ever wanted to sing karaoke for charity (or force a WAKA-mate to sing), well kids, September 15 is going to be your lucky day.  The committees are still working out the rules and the free grub and such so keep watching here for more details.  Let us know if you’re free to help out!


 A Note From Your Newsletter Editor 


Howdy everyone!

So, last week’s attempt to email out the newsletter was a moderate success.  Some people reported not getting it for a day or two.  I’m trying to get them out first thing Wednesdays, so if you don’t see it in your mailbox, check the website.  Keep those submissions coming in – we want your comments, recaps, MFT questions.  If you have stuff to sell, buy, or promote, let us know – you pimp it, we’ll whore it!  All correspondence can go to  Have a great time out on the field this week – we finally have a bye so I’ll be taking a nap.  Oh wait, no I won’t.  I’m playing in Hollywood.  A kickballer’s calendar is never quiet.

Keep on kickballin’,

Lisa K.




Hey y'all, not getting enough action on the kickball field?  Or sick of hearing that there is no "I" in team (unless you say "kickball team")?  Well, here's your chance to shine.  Beginning in the last week of the season (September 29) and culminating in the first week of playoffs (October 6), Dogtown Division's Carey Melton will be hosting an air hockey tournament at Yankee Doodle's after each game.  Stay tuned for registration information and the rules of the tournament!


Week 4 Recaps 


Game 1: Tang 4, W. Whackers 2


Whacker Cap’n Carey writes:

Captain Christiana of Tang made a plea last week for players to put the KICK back in kickball, and the Whackers tried to oblige her.  In the first inning, Dane Johnson scored after leading off with a triple.  Later that inning, Jake Schutz, in true Whacker fashion, had a solo shot that made the score 2-0.  However, that was the last of the scoring for the Whackers.  Tang rallied in the second and third and tied the game 2-2.  Mike Leonardi beaned Matt Levin of Tang in the third inning to end a Tang rally.  However, in the fourth, Tang got ahold of several Whacker balls to go ahead 4-2.  The Whackers couldn't get enough people up in the fifth to even threaten Tang.

Christiana from Tang writes:

Tang took the field first against the mighty Whackers.  They started strong with a 2-0 lead.  Tang couldn't score any of their runners to home and went scoreless into the next inning.  Tight Tang defense held the Whackers for the 2nd inning and Sinan gave Tang hope by leading off the inning with a home run.  The score remained Whackers 2-1.  But in the third inning, Tang was able to score a run to tie the score 2-2.  The wall of Tang defense didn't disappoint.  Whackers were not able to score again and Matt S. kicked in two runs for the 4-2 win.


Game 2: Cheerleaders 6, AoB 2


Cheerleader Shirley writes:

By the end of the first inning we had scored 4 runs.  Then two more in the following innings put us at 6-1 in the bottom of the 5th with Sattler on the pitcher's mound.  Ace of Base (SUCH a nice team) managed one more run in the 5th to end the game at 6-2.  It was a thrilling game to play and watch.  I almost got all the way home (and I got to 3rd base, too),


Molly from Ace of Base says:

To Dogtown kickballers, the Pregnant Cheerleader’s winning streak is evidence of hard work and team spirit.  But, according to Ace of Base’s Darren (Leisure Suit Larry), Pat and his Pregnant Cheerleaders are cheaters and scoundrels and should be called Preg Cheaters.  They ran those bases entirely too fast and used subversive tactics, like a kicker with a distracting purple feather boa.  And, as if it isn’t enough that Pat pitches like a shot put Olympian trying to bowl, he also wears hypno-socks … Cheating!  How else can you explain 5 runs in the first inning!?!  Ok, ok … maybe they did play some good ball.  On our end, we had a run in the first inning by Brendan (Milli Vanilli) and a run in the 5th inning by Mariah Carey.  As usual, we had a brilliant defensive move by Stephan (Cool Runnings), unfortunately causing a torn hamstring.  Veronica (Hellooo Nurse) played a mean first base and Tom Bell Biv DeVoe made some smooth defensive moves as well.  But, I’m still convinced that Pat is the one that turned out the lights on the field for 20 minutes during the game in order to savor his best game ever as long as possible. 



Roundtable Picks – Week 5 

With Vincent Muscatelli, G-spot, Gentleman Jim & Pickbot 3000 (v2.4)

All my people walked out on me after the computer picked that tie and it didn’t happen.  The Kraut hightailed it back to Dusseldorf and Dan said he was hitting the open range, but I suspect that since the Pregnant Cheerleaders have a bye week Dan is off to stalk their captain.  So I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel for these picks this week.  Gentleman Jim was in town and offered to help and so has my nephew Giuseppe, but he wants to be called G-Spot.

Game one - Tang @ Ace of Base

Vinny: Both of these teams made history in the Dogtown League last week, Tang was the first team to break the 2 point barrier by scoring 4 runs, Ace of Base had it harder by being beaten 6-2.  I like Ace of Base in theory, they’re fun, they play hard, and they make brownies before the game.  But I don’t think they can beat Tang.  TANG

Gentleman Jim: Well since your cowboy friend and the Hun are gone it seems you’ve decided to call on me again.  I must say I’m a little put-off by your brusque manner but I wouldn’t miss calling a game for all the tea in china.  Team Tang may have a dreadful color but the way they prance about the field in their crowns and tiaras reminds me of many parties at my manor.  I cherish their spirit and think they will win the game.  TANG

G-Spot: Yo this is whack, I thought we wuz gon play some b-ball “U” to the “N” to the “C” to the “V”.  But if I gots ta pick then I’s be pickin Tang know what I’m sayin?  Skeet skeet skeet!  TANG

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: processing request Tang -3

Game 2 -  Westside Whackers @ Greenorrhea

Vinny: Okay there’s no real question what’s gonna happen here. Whackers are going to wrap this one up in the 2nd inning.  But they won’t know it because they’re only gonna score like once or twice. Greenorrhea is gonna lose plain and simple.  WHACKERS

Gentleman Jim: Battle of the innuendo.  Whackers, Greenorrhea…it’s almost too much.  I cannot even begin to argue the merits of either teams skills because I am just so taken with their tackiness.  But if I must I would rely on Vincent’s judgement and say the Whackers will win.  WHACKERS

G-Spot: Word.  Greenorrhea is whack and the Whackers are gonna bust a cap on their fool asses.  WHACKERS

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: processing data…Whackers -2