Week 4 - August 18th, 2005 - Volume One Supplemental


 Standings as of 8/18/05

Week 4 Schedule – 8/18/05






































Westside Whackers @ Tang


Pregnant Cheerleaders @

Ace Of Base

Bye - Greenorrhea





YANKEE DOODLES is in bed with Dogtown!  The fruits of our bar-hunting labors has paid off and Dogtown Division now has an official watering hole!  In addition to being a huge location with pool, air-hockey and lots of TVs for all those “other sports”, they’re also offering 2 for 1 pints and well drinks as well as half off selected appetizers!  If you haven’t been already, check it out this week!  The bar is located between Broadway and Santa Monica on 3rd Street Promenade.  Parking can be found off 2nd & 4th street for $3.




Kickball got your legs sore, arms tired and back aching?  Relief is on the way!  David Silverman is a WAKA Hollywood player and a massage therapist who services four-star hotels & spas.  He is offering WAKA members a $10 discount on any services booked this season.  For more information, visit: www.david-cmt.com

 Mid Season Party / Charity Event


Hey, remember how we told you to save September 8?  Yeah … not so much.  It turns out the NFL is having a pretty big whatever on that night, so we’ve been waylaid a bit.  Now, as much as we’d normally enjoy being way laid, in this case it’s not so good.

Anyway, the new date is tentatively September 15.  It’s not exactly mid-season, but it IS going to be a hell of a party.  If you’ve ever wanted to sing karaoke for charity (or force a WAKA-mate to sing), well kids, September 15 is going to be your lucky day.  The committees are still working out the rules and the free grub and such so keep watching here for more details.


 A Note From Your Newsletter Editor 


Howdy everyone!

I hope you enjoy this supplemental issue of GMOT.  I’m sure you got the one Chris sent out earlier in the week… so I’m sure you also know that he’s now off on a 3-week wedding/honeymoon extravaganza.  Which means I get to do whatever I want with the newsletter.  (I love this kind of power)

We’ve made some arrangements for updating the website in El Jefe’s absence, but frankly we’re not sure how that’s going to work out for us.  In any case, I’ll send out this newsletter every Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, complete with your weekly game picks, last weeks recaps, as well as fun stuff like the You Make the Decision contest (free beer!) and Ask Miss Fluffy Tail.

Please keep sending us letters, articles, recaps, and trash talk here.

Keep on kickballin’,

Lisa K.


 You Make the Decision – WEEK 2 WINNER 


Congratulations to Jason King of Tang for being the first person to successfully answer "You Make the Decision."  Jason stated, in part,

"Matt Levin's kick would be a foul, making it his 4th foul and thereby an out to end the play, inning and game.  The Pregos would win 4-3 and the runner movement would not be applicable."

According to WAKA rule 14.02(a), an out occurs when a kicker has a count of four fouls.  Once a team gets three outs, that half of the inning ends.  In this instance, diagram J on page 9 of the Official WAKA rulebook is applicable.  For "making the decision" first, Jason has won himself a free pitcher of beer at Yankee Doodle's, courtesy of the Rules Committee!


Ask Miss Fluffy Tail

MFT, as she’s known around the office, is thrilled to have gained so much popularity since last week.  As a “thank you,” this week she’s letting us see a little of her sensitive side…


Q. Who is your favorite male player in the league and why?

My favorite male player is Pat Sattler because he reminds me of my mother.


Q. Who is your favorite female player in the league and why?

My favorite female player is Orion Walker.


Q. Would you rather rock out to Winger or White Snake?

I prefer Amy Grant and contemporary Christian music as opposed to your

Godless, drug fueled, promiscuity-promoting noise.  But when I fire up my El Camino and head up PCH I'll pop in my White Snake 8-track and here I go again on my own.


Q. I know a Chihuahua that loves you.  Would you ever consider going on a date with him?

I dated a Chihuahua in college.  I was young and experimenting like we all did, but I find it’s really not true to myself to date outside of my species.

And my besides my parents would never approve.  But uh, which Chihuahua are we talking about?


Food Fetish


Those of us out last week got to partake of some yummy brownies courtesy of Ace of Base.  Surprise!  It’s from a wheat- and gluten-free mix called Pamela’s, available at Whole Foods.  Want to recreate them?  Replace butter or oil with grapeseed oil and rice milk instead of water.  Thanks to Mena of AoB for the tip!

Week 3 Recaps 


Game 1: Ace of Base 1, Greenorrhea 0


Molly from Ace of Base writes:


Ace of Base’s fierce defense worked like Cipro, stamping out Greenorrhea and preventing the spread of infection.  Greenorrhea’s dastardly tactics included partially blinding the Aces with a John Stockton copycat, an impressive line up of strong kickers, and a formidable defense.  The competition was steep, and they certainly gave us a run for our money.  Aces held their own, though, with double plays in the 2nd and 3rd innings and a dramatic scissor-kick defensive move from Jacobo.  Despite a disappointing lead off with only one base hit in the first inning, Aces loaded up the bases in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th innings.  After 2 attempts and a collision, Aces scored a run by Jacobo through a RBI by Erin.  The fourth inning defense was a one-man show with Brendan catching 3 outs in rapid succession despite a gnarly head cold.  Catch of the night was made by Stephan, team acrobat and most aggressive base runner on the team.


Molly from Greenorrhea counters:


This week’s game was a step forward for Greenorrhea.  Not only did we score some runs, but also we came a lot CLOSER to winning one.  Brian showed that behind that intense physique of his there is also a great strategic mind, as he took a walk in the second inning.  Mike “short shorts” Ronkoske secured a base hit, advancing Brian on base, as did Johnny Smith.  Defensively, we got down and dirty…literally.  Thinking that the catcher’s position would be a nice “cushy” job, I was proven wrong on Thursday.  TWICE, I was simultaneously taken out at home base by the opposing runner AND my own team mates, who thought it was best to make these plays into entire team efforts I guess.  Johnny, pitching a wonderful game for us once more, came back to shut down the inning with 0 runs with 3 people on base and only 1 out.  It looked like a bad situation, but he met the challenge.


Game 1: Pregnant Cheerleaders 2, Tang 1


Pat from Pregnant Cheerleaders writes:


After much taunting between the two team captains at the bar the week before, the two remaining undefeated teams took to the field.  Tang struck with a first inning run, but Dustin Petok continued his bunting for doubles clinic in the bottom of the first and was kicked around to tie the game at one.  Larry Caldwell was kicked home by Lisa Krupp in the third inning to give the Preggos the lead, and the game.  Both teams continued the great defensive play that got them this far, including a great "trap it against my face" catch from the Cheerleader's Andrea Sipe.  Roll on purple train, roll on...



Christiana from Tang writes:


Tang came out kicking.  Sinan 'The Speedy' was first up and made it to third off an error in the outfield.  Next up, Janeen sacrificed to score Sinan.  Tang took the lead 1-0.  And we never scored again.  The Pregos put up 2 runs over the next two innings and Tang could never get more than two runners on the bases.  Another low scoring game.


Letters to the Division


Occasionally the division gets letters from players with ramblings, complaints, or (believe it or not) good suggestions.  As long as you’re not too mean or obscene, we’re happy to publish these letters for everyone to read.  This one falls in that last category.


To all concerned rookies and veterans,

What has happened to this game we used to call KICKball?  It's turned into PITCHball.  As a four-season vet and former Hollywood league President, I'd like to think I am a qualified expert.  I remember back when we were starting out with just four teams.  The scores of the games used to be in the double digits.  11-6. 14-5.  8-9. Now we're lucky if anyone scores more than 3 runs.  Has a team scored more than 3 runs this season??  Some teams are struggling to score 1 run.

With so many newcomers to the game and each dugout packed with 20 or more people every game, I say let's KICK again.  We've promised them a KICKball game.  Let's deliver it.

Let's get those rookies on the bases.  Let's get through the line-up more than once.  Let's give the fielders a chance to make smart plays when there are all sorts of people running around the bases.  Or not make smart plays so we get some runs up on the scoreboard.

We're not playing major league baseball where pitching has to win games.  Pitchers, how about some right down the middle over the plate?  How about an inning or two with no spins or bouncies?  Just sweet pitches that any player can get a piece of.

As week four approaches, take a moment to reflect on the game.  Will you do your part to bring the KICK back to KICKball?

Humbly yours,

Christiana Celeste, Tang Captain


Keep ‘Em Coming!

Our newsletter is only as good as your comments and submissions, so keep sending stuff our way.  Otherwise, what are you gonna do – your JOB???  Write us at wakadogtownnews@gmail.com.  

Roundtable Picks – Week 4 

With Vincent Muscatelli, Dan “Ride ‘em Cowboy” Cooley, Helmut Krankenhose, and Pickbot 3000 (v2.4)

Game One - Westside Whackers @ Tang

Vinny: This is a tough one to call.  Melton’s got his team working hard to keep that winning streak going but one has to wonder if a bye week and traffic school is going to distract him from the game.  Tang has an excellent team but in the later innings they rely more on heckling than playing ability.  I like the Whackers for this one.

Helmut: Dieses Spiel wird für jede Mannschaft haltbar sein, weil sie schwach und faul sind. Das Westside Whackers sind alles Gespräch. Während Tang mehr mit ihren Kostümen als mit dem Spielen von von kickball betroffen wird. Ich bete für Regen, also werde ich nicht dieser ekelhaften Anzeige des Athletentums unterworfen. Aber, da ich mich wählen muß, wählen Sie Westside Whackers.

Dan: Well sheeooot Helmut you sure are one ornery son of a gun.  I just figured out what you’re talking about and boy are you sore. What in tarnation did those teams ever do to you Fritzy?  Besides you’re all wrong about this game, it’s gonna be a barn burner. The Whackers and Tang are gonna duke it out like a couple of drunk ranchhands in Dodge City.  I think Tang is gonna end up with the win because they got something to prove after being beat last week.

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: Processing data….conflicting data…human error detected…new analysis…. Westside Whackers vs. Tang… TIE… TIE…

Game 2 -  Pregnant Cheerleaders @ Ace of Base

Vinny: All that they want is another victory.  Ace of Base defeated league doormats Greenohhrea last week and they want more.  But I don’t think they’re going to get it against the Pregnant Cheerleaders.  Sure the Cheerleaders make mistakes but they’re small and they don’t let you take advantage of them like they used to in Hollywood.  I’m going Cheerleaders all the way.

Helmut: Vincent, das Sie täuschen. Die schwangeren Cheerleadern haben nicht einen Fehler noch gemacht. Es kann scheinen, daß sie einen Fehler machen, aber sie ihren Konkurrenten innen anlocken und sich dann sie nach ihnen wie einer Dschungelkatze stürzen. Das Fleisch von ihrem Konkurrenten Körper zerreißend, mögen Sie Seidenpapier. Sie sind ein Blitzkrieg einer Mannschaft. Kapitän Patrick Sattler bildet ein stolz mit seinem Trotz angesichts des Missgeschicks. Wenn dieses Spiel über den schwangeren Cheerleadern ist, steht noch einmal siegreich.

Dan: Whoa boy that was a mouthful.  I almost choked on my sassparilly. The thing is I almost agree with Helmat here, Pat Sattler has a great little posse of players there.  And I’m not saying that just so he’ll give this old cowpoke the time of day I really mean it.  I think the Cheerleaders are going to win but Vinny don’t get so down on Greenohhrea they had a tough early season but it’s not like games against them are blowouts.  So Cheerleaders it is.

Pickbot 3000 v2.4: Processing…analyisis…Pregnant Cheerleaders -1